My name is Sean
Sean Rainey, otherwise known as ‘Walker Sean’, is an experienced ultra challenge walker, Trek Master (TM), and more recently a runner. Having battled with his mental health over many years, overcoming many personal obstacles, Sean has gone on to achieve a multitude of walking and running challenges, and supports a variety of charities that are close to his heart.
I’ve known Sean for a number of years now, having first met him at an Ultra Challenge walking event. Sean is a legend within the Action Challenge ultra community, and is well loved by anyone that gets the opportunity to get to know him.
I’m truly honoured that Sean has agreed to share his own story. Deeply raw at times, Sean doesn’t hold back. His mental strength, resilience and determination to help others is remarkable.
This is his story, in his own words.
My name is Sean. I am 57 years old. This is some of my life story, my breakdown, how I fought back, and how I help and assist others with mental health troubles.
I haven’t always been the way I am today. 10 years ago, I was overweight, smoked over 60 cigarettes a day, didn’t do any exercise and would run out of breath just going to the shops. In fact, the last exercise I did was in my school years. But I was fairly content with life, and didn’t see any reason to change.
But that all started to change with a series of events in my life which led to my breakdown.
At the time, I was living with my ex-partner and her daughter. We had invited her parents to come and live with us because her father had dementia. Slowly I watched as her father Ray died slowly from his dementia. Also, my partners’ mother was slowly destroying my relationship with both my ex and her daughter. All this time the life was being drained from me, and I was getting weaker from not eating and all the turmoil in my life.
I’m one of those people who tend to take on everyone else’s problems, so I did everything I could do deal with her father’s illness. At the same time, my ex-partner was being bullied at work. I also had issues of my own. I had self-harmed at school and all through my teenage years and also had problems with alcohol in my 20s.
In short, trying to deal with everyone else’s issues meant I wasn’t really addressing my own problems.
So, what happened?
I had the mother of all breakdowns.
It is a spark that you feel much like a fishing hook going in and it is in firmly. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. It was like being in a car wash and each flail hitting you. You just go down and down. It was just a darkness, with no way of getting out. In a blackened room with no light…only blackness. So, the only way out is to go through the black door to leave the room. It was very scary. It is different to depression and suicidal thoughts. You are alone all the time through this too.
When you have a breakdown, you don’t really think about whether you want to die. It is not like that. It is an escape and a release. You are not looking to end it all. You are looking to leave your pain and for the pain to stop. You just want to escape and pull yourself out of the darkness and pain you are surrounded by and are in. You just do it.
I was living in Portsmouth at the time, so was surrounded by water and, as I can’t swim, I thought the quickest way of ending it all was to throw myself into the waves.
So, one evening, I just jumped onto my bike and headed off. My phone went off 5 times that night whilst I was cycling, and eventually I answered it. It was one of my closest friends, who got out from me what I was just about to do. She tore strips off me and told me not to be so stupid!
That phone call made me take stock of where I was, and what I was about to do. But it wasn’t easy coming back as I was weak and at the lowest I had been since my twenties. I had stopped eating properly too. I had lost any fight within me, and, on top of that, I was getting bullied at work.
How did you recover in the end?
It was a massive shock to realise what situation I had found myself in and just how far I was in and not being here anymore. I moved out of the house and situation, and I found the courage to open up and then spoke to others about the breakdown.
All through this I had kept this all to myself and went to work every day and kept up a pretence that everything was fine. I started to eat and sleep properly again. I gained my strength back very fastly due to the mental strength I had (I realise that not everyone has this).
I saw an advert to walk around the Isle of Wight, 106km. Although I didn’t think I could do the whole lot, I thought I might try to do half of it. At the same time, one of my closest friend’s mother had just died of cancer, so I offered to do the walk in memory of her, which I did, and raised £2,118. I did it in 11 hours and 50 minutes, and it broke me. But it felt great to complete the challenge and be able to raise that money.
As a result, a few months later I signed up to do another long-distance walk from Eastbourne to Brighton. I’d never seen Beachy Head and Seven Sisters, apart from in films, so it was great to see them for real, and although that walk also nearly broke me, it did allow me to access my inner strength, which was a real help for me at that time.
The following year, I did the Isle of Wight Walk again and also did a 50k in the Cotswolds. On that walk, I managed to help a woman who was struggling through it. I stayed with her and gave her blister packs, and she told me afterwards she couldn’t have done it without me. For me, that was really rewarding.
I have since done loads more 50kms and some 100kms. I also started running, although not seriously. I did some 5kms and 10kms, and I also did a half marathon.
Helping others is something I have continued to try to do. I’m now a fully qualified mental health first aider. I am always an empath and fully understand the meaning of an empath. I am also an instructor member for MHFA England athletics at club level, and have my licence to instruct MHFA courses and give the world and the business its next mental health first aiders.
I am also a Trek Master (TM) for Action Challenge. I have been one now for over 7 years. This means I help both runners and walkers through their challenges when they’re injured or struggling. It’s a real satisfaction to help. It’s just a way of giving back and giving thanks, because I didn’t die. Giving back to society in every way is so important to me, I am a huge advocate for mental health in both the running and walking world.
I have helped so many others in the same position as I well know the signs. Being an ear and listening to others, and being an empath means I know how others in pain are so, and I can fully understand. I also know just how vastly important self-worth and care are.
What is it about walking and running that appeals to you?
Walking and running are both types of therapy.
You’re releasing good endorphins and when people walk, and run they open up, often telling strangers things they wouldn’t tell people closer to them. It’s amazing what people will tell each other within 10 or 15 minutes of starting to walk together.
I am a walking therapist and love to help people by doing this. I am a volunteer for a male mental health charity that is for males to meet up and to talk it out and to have little walks with other people. I have fronted events for this charity too. Running with others and being part of a club is huge. It is good to tell people I am a mental health champion and am there to listen.
What do people you meet on your runs and walks think of all your tattoos?
Ha, yes, it’s a bit of a talking point, but they don’t seem to put people off. My love of tattoos goes right back to my childhood when I saw the Rod Steiger film ‘The Illustrated Man’. I just watched it and said, ‘I want that!’.
So far, I’ve got about 85% of my body done, and most recently had my backside completed last month. All that is left are parts of my legs, a few small parts of my back and my sides. Then, I’ll only have my face left, but i would never go that far, even though i love tattoos.
They also hide scars from my youth after self-harming through all my childhood and teenage years.
They were also a way of taking pain away as the pain was a form of release. The tattoos stopped me self-harming and they were my new release. Although this brought a whole different set of problems as society decided to label me with the word “scum”. I actually got this tattooed as a reminder that I am not.
This led me to dislike the world in turn and led to alcohol issues and ultimately a suicide attempt.
Thankfully I learned from this and it isn’t me that is the issue or the tattoos but some people , and the only way to overcome this was to be me and the real me shine out! The helpful and kind me which is what happened and still does .
The woman who saved my life is a runner, and she suggested I try running as well. So I started with a few 5ks, then went on to others such as the London Winter Run (10k), and the Worthing Half Marathon. I have done a few 10kms and planned more for this year. I have joined a running club and am building up my endurance. I have taken on so many more runs now and am now a Lirf – leader in running fitness.
I am also a mental health ambassador for England Athletics at national level, a role I am honoured to have. I have helped out at the couch to 5km programme to help new runners achieve new goals. Being there as a champion and ambassador is huge encouragement and it is nice to be able to help others.
The future?
Of course, I’ll be carrying on my walking. I plan to do Mount Snowdon at some point, having done Pen y Fan, Fan y Big and Cribyn in the Brecon Beacons a few times.
I’ll also be doing the CALM Lost Hours walks again. CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) is an initiative which aims to raise awareness of male suicide. It’s a major cause of death of males and, as I know, it’s a really scary experience, which often you just don’t see coming. It’s not helped by the traditional male attitude of stiff upper lip, and grin and bear it.
I also volunteer for male mental health charity Men Walk Talk as a walk leader. I have been involved with mental health charities for a few years now.
With all these walks and runs, I’ll continue to raise money for charity. Over the last 9 years, I have raised nearly £22k for a number of different charities and I want to keep raising more and helping charities.
I did a blog for a company called Notches. They do bands called notches of achievements. Notches are a great way for people who have done their challenges to clearly see and remember their achievements every day. Notches inspire them to other things.
For me, it’s a bit more poignant. I got my ‘I didn’t die’ Notch as a reminder that I was seconds away from dying. But fortunately, I’m still here to tell the tale. they are a great way to remind of just how far I have come in my journey, so I would encourage others to look up the notches if they can. I feel that any reminder of the rise from a painful journey is a positive one.
The biggest part of this journey is that no matter how hard life seems, to talk and to listen are two of the best things you can do to make a difference.
I have retired from walking after completing Bath 50km and my focus is on running more and what I gave the walking world for 9 years I have brought to the running world.
I will always do all I can to help others.
Sean
UK Mental Health Helplines & Charities
Struggling with your mental health can feel overwhelming, isolating, or even hopeless—but you are not alone. Whether you're facing anxiety, depression, grief, stress, suicidal thoughts, or just feeling "off," reaching out for support is a brave and important step.
Talking to someone—whether it’s a helpline volunteer, a mental health professional, or a support charity—can bring relief, clarity, and connection. You don't have to wait for a crisis to ask for help. These organisations are here to listen, support, and guide you—day or night.
Reaching out isn't a sign of weakness—it's an act of strength.
Marc
Samaritans
Support for anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.
Phone: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Website: www.samaritans.org
Mind
Offers information, support, and campaigning for better mental health.
InfoLine: 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am–6pm)
Text: 86463
Email: info@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Shout
24/7 free text service for anyone in crisis.
Text: SHOUT to 85258
Website: www.giveusashout.org
CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)
Support for men and anyone feeling down or in crisis.
Helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight, daily)
Webchat: Available on website
Website: www.thecalmzone.net
SANEline
Emotional support and guidance for anyone affected by mental illness.
Helpline: 0300 304 7000 (4pm–10pm, daily)
Website: www.sane.org.uk
YoungMinds
Support for children, young people, and parents.
Parents Helpline: 0808 802 5544 (Mon–Fri, 9:30am–4pm)
Text service for young people: Text YM to 85258
Website: www.youngminds.org.uk
PAPYRUS (Prevention of Young Suicide)
Support for young people with suicidal thoughts and anyone worried about them.
HOPELINE247: 0800 068 41 41 (24/7)
Text: 07860 039967
Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
Website: www.papyrus-uk.org
Anxiety UK
Support for people living with anxiety and anxiety-based depression.
Helpline: 03444 775 774 (Mon–Fri, 9:30am–5:30pm)
Text Service: 07537 416 905
Website: www.anxietyuk.org.uk
NHS Urgent Mental Health Helplines
Available 24/7 in every area of England for urgent help.
Find your local helpline: www.nhs.uk/mental-health
